Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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