is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
