Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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