I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
