I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
