she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
And my parents said I crawled through the house
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
