On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
