Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
