Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
