from now on my penis is your penis
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
