try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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