"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
