this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
