just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
