you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
