he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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