She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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