ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  is swine flu sexually transmttd?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Ha no, why?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad

  Fav 4 1283 853

  share tweet
  

• (775): View more from Nevada

  soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.

  Fav 73 1068 13464

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (863): View more from Florida

  i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him

  Fav 24 1620 3444

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave

  Fav 45 5876 1096

  share tweet
  

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES

  Fav 37 8450 1203

  share tweet
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.

  Fav 16 6166 1968

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"

  Fav 9 1547 6707

  share tweet
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight

  Fav 5 1773 923

  share tweet
  

• (315): View more from New York

  You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"

  Fav 4 1243 985

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...

  Fav 2 911 585

  share tweet
  

• (260): View more from Indiana

  Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.

  Fav 3 643 837

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (281): View more from Texas

  So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club

  Fav 2 539 448

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.

  Fav 1 38 52

  share tweet
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.

  Fav 0 53 6

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (818): View more from California

  You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.

  Fav 0 73 4

  share tweet
  

Randomize