Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
