You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
