Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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