I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
bring money and cleavage
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
