Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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