So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
