if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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