Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
