five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
