I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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