How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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