So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
