Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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