I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
