I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
