I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
