Walk of Shame. In a state park.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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