Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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