he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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