So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i believe in u and ur pee
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
