I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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