..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
