The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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