how can u be prego again
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
