My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
