woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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