I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
