Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
