You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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