Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
