I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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