What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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