Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
