the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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