How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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