Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
