PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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