lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
