ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
