Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My life is pants optional.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
