wrigley field is MILF paradise
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
