i think my tv is drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
