i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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