Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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