i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Text me some of your sweat
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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