im about as happy as oj after his trial
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
