i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
